Five Buddhist techniques for practising patience

The Buddhist Practice of Patience

In Buddhism, the word khanti (Ksanti in Sanskrit), which is translated as ‘patience’ is also the word that gets translated as ‘tolerance’. It’s not just a grin-and-bear-it thing. It’s essentially the faculty that allows a person to stay in a positive mental and emotional state when faced with unpleasant circumstances.

The ancient Buddhist art of staying happy when things suck big time.

It is one of the 6 ‘perfections’ (‘paramitas’) that one must develop in order to be a bodhisattva (which is a highly-realised being in the later ‘Mahayana’ Buddhist tradition). So training in patience is pretty key.

As well as developing patience in general, the Buddha specifically mentioned 3 things that we need to try to cultivate patience with – I guess because they’re the things that tend to annoy most people:

1. Illness
2. The weather
3. Other people

That list always makes me chuckle. I would add unpleasant smells to that list. And bad music blasting out of headphones in train carriages. But I suppose they didn’t have headphones in ancient India (or train carriages).

Here are some tips, mostly from Santideva’s Bodhicaryavatara – ‘Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life’. I’m writing this on the train and from memory, but hopefully it’s pretty accurate. Feel free to correct any mistakes!

1. Don’t try to get everything in your world right. Try to get your mind right. Santideva says ‘Why try to cover the entire world in leather, when simply covering the soles of your own feet will do the job just as well?’
2. Try to remember that, even though the person in front of you is being an asshole, you are also contributing something to your current feeling (and there are a bunch of other factors that you’re not taking account of too). How tired you are, the weather, the fact that you’re late, perhaps you woke up 10 minutes late and now have to rush. It’s all part of the web of conditions that led to you currently feeling like this.We tend to lay a whole bunch of blame on people, when often a bunch of the problem is dues to non-human causes and conditions. But you can’t shout at lateness, whereas you can shout at a person.
3. Remember that the person has a whole story that you aren't aware of. If you knew it, maybe you’d give them a break?
4. Although in your world you are the subject and they are the object, in their world it’s the other way round. We tend to see ourselves (emotionally, if not philosophically) as the centre of the universe. We are the constant, the star of the show. Everyone else is a bit part – passing through. But you’re just a bit part in their life too. When you get your head around that, their lack of consideration becomes a little more understandable.
5. Your enemy is your greatest teacher. You are fortunate they exist. That might seem strange, but think about it. When nothing and no one is rubbing you up the wrong way, you just drift through life, learning very little. We've all met people who are the result of this kind of ‘good fortune’!

We reflect most when something’s not right and we have to work out a way to deal with it. Learning to stay positive when things aren’t right is the big one. When you’ve cracked it, life is a piece of cake!

   

Understanding the Buddha's Teaching

Chapter Seven

Turnings of the Dharma Wheel

It is said there are 84,000 dharma gates, which is a poetic way of saying there are infinite ways to enter the practice of the Buddha dharma. And over the centuries Buddhism has developed an enormous diversity of schools and practices. One way to understand how this diversity came about is by understanding the three turnings of the dharma wheel.

The dharma wheel, usually depicted as a wheel with eight spokes for the Eightfold Path, is a symbol of Buddhism and of the Buddha dharma. Turning the dharma wheel, or setting it in motion, is a poetic way to describe the Buddha's teaching of the dharma.

In Mahayana Buddhism, it is said the Buddha turned the dharma wheel three times. These three turnings represent three significant events in Buddhist history.

In the Pali version, the Buddha told the five monks:

"As long as the insight and the understanding of these Four Noble Truths in their threes stages and twelve aspects, just as they are, had not been fully realised, I could not say that in this world with its gods, maras, brahamas, recluses, brahmans, and men, someone had realised the highest awakening...."

In the Chinese version of the sutra, the Buddha said:

"Monks, the experience of the three turnings of the wheel with regard to each of the Four Truths gives rise to eyes of awakened understanding, and therefore I declare before gods, spirits, shramanas, and brahmans of all times that I have destroyed all afflictions and reached full awakening."

The Wheel of the Dharma was put in motion 12 times - three for each of the Four Noble Truths. To understand them, not just intellectually but experientially, we have to practice the 12 turnings of the wheel. 

1. Recognition. We sense something is wrong, but we can't say exactly what. We try to escape, but cannot. We try to deny our suffering, but it persists. The Buddha said, "To suffer and not know that we are suffering is more painful than the burden endured by a mule carrying an unimaginably heavy load."
We have to recognise that we are suffering & then figure out whether it is physical, psychological, or physiological. We need to identify it, like a doctor identifying a sickness. ie. "If I press here, does it hurt?" and we say, " Yes, this is my suffering." The wounds in our heart become the object of our meditating. We show them to the Buddha, and thus we show them to ourselves. Our suffering is us - we need to treat it with kindness. Embrace our fear, hatred, anguish and anger.

2. Encouragement. Now we can take the time to look deeply into our pain in order to understand its true nature - its causes. Be determined to understand our illness. Our suffering - depression, illness, a difficult relationship or fear - needs to be understood. Practice sitting and walking meditation and ask for guidance and support from friends, and our teacher. As we do this, the cause of our suffering becomes knowable. At this stage, our practice can still be 'set back' (ashrava).

3. Realisation. "This suffering has been understood." Now we have stopped running away from our pain, we can now call our suffering by its special name and identify all of its traits. This alone brings us happiness, joy "without setbacks" (anashrava). Even after we have identified we still continue to create suffering for ourselves, like pouring gasoline on the fire through our words, thoughts, and deeds and often don't even realise it. 

* Four Kinds of nutriments that lead to our happiness or our suffering.

a. Edible Food. Much suffering comes from not eating mindfully. 
b. Sense Impressions. Eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind. 
c. Volition, intention, or will. The desire in us to obtain whatever we want.
d. Consciousness. All the seeds sown by our past actions and those of our family and society. 

Right Mindfulness traditionally is the seventh part of the Eightfold Path of Buddhism, but that doesn't mean it is seventh in importance. Each part of the path supports the other seven parts, and so they should be thought of as connected in a circle or woven into a web rather than stacked as if in an order of progression.

Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh says that Right Mindfulness is at the heart of the Buddha's teaching. "When Right Mindfulness is present, the Four Noble Truths and the other seven elements of the Eightfold Path are also present." (The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching, p. 59)

What Is Mindfulness?

The Pali word for "mindfulness" is sati (in Sanskrit, smriti). Sati can also mean "retention," "recollection," or "alertness." Mindfulness is a whole-body-and-mind awareness of the present moment. To be mindful is to be fully present, not lost in daydreams, anticipation, indulgences, or worry.

Mindfulness also means observing and releasing habits of mind that maintain the illusion of a separate self. This includes dropping the mental habit of judging everything according to whether we like it or not. Being fully mindful means being fully attentive to everything as-it-is, not filtering everything through our subjective opinions.

Why Mindfulness Is Important

It's important to understand Buddhism as a discipline or process rather than as a belief system. The Buddha did not teach doctrines about enlightenment, but rather taught people how to realize enlightenment themselves. And the way we realize enlightenment is through direct experience. It is through mindfulness that we experience directly, with no mental filters or psychological barriers between us and what is experienced.

The Ven. Henepola Gunaratana, a Theravada Buddhist monk and teacher, explains in the bookVoices of Insight (edited by Sharon Salzberg) that mindfulness is essential to help us see beyond symbols and concepts. "Mindfulness is pre-symbolic. It is not shackled to logic," he says. "The actual experi­ence lies beyond the words and above the symbols."

Mindfulness and Meditation

The sixth, seventh and eighth parts of the Eightfold Path -- Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration -- together are the mental development needed to release us from suffering.

Meditation is practiced in many schools of Buddhism as part of mental development. The Sanskrit word for meditation, bhavana, means "mental culture," and all forms of Buddhist meditation involve mindfulness. In particular, shamatha ("peaceful dwelling") meditation develops mindfulness; people sitting in shamatha train themselves to stay alert to the present moment, observing and then releasing thoughts instead of chasing them.Satipatthana vipassana meditation is a similar practice found in Theravada Buddhism that is primarily about developing mindfulness.

In recent years there has been a growing interest in mindfulness meditation as part of psychotherapy. Some psychotherapists find that mindfulness meditation as an adjunct to counseling and other treatments can help troubled people learn to release negative emotions and thought habits.

Four Frames of Reference

The Buddha said there are four frames of reference in mindfulness:

1. Mindfulness of body (kayasati).
2. Mindfulness of feelings or sensations (vedanasati).
3. Mindfulness of mind or mental processes (cittasati).
4. Mindfulness of mental objects or qualities (dhammasati).

Have you ever suddenly just noticed that you had a headache, or that your hands were cold, and realized you'd been feeling these things for a while but weren't paying attention? Mindfulness of body is just the opposite of that; being fully aware of your body, your extremities, your bones, your muscles. And the same thing goes for the other frames of reference -- being fully aware of sensations, aware of your mental processes, aware of the phenomena all around you.

The teachings of the Five Skandhas are related to this, and are worth reviewing as you begin to work with mindfulness.

Three Fundamental Activities

The Venerable Gunaratana says mindfulness comprises three fundamental activities.

1. Mindfulness reminds us of what we are supposed to be doing. If we are sitting in meditation, it brings us back to the focus of meditation. If we are washing dishes, it reminds us to pay full attention to washing the dishes.

2. In mindfulness, we see things as they really are. The Venerable Gunaratana writes that our thoughts have a way of pasting over reality, and concepts and ideas distort what we experience.

3. Mindfulness sees the true nature of phenomena. In particular, through mindfulness we directly see the three characteristics or marks of existence -- it is imperfect, temporary and egoless.

Practicing Mindfulness

Changing the mental habits and conditioning of a lifetime is not easy. And this training is not something that only happens during meditation, but throughout the day.

If you have a daily chanting practice, chanting in a focused, fully attentive way is mindfulness training. It can also be helpful to choose a particular activity such as preparing a meal, cleaning the floors, or taking a walk, and make an effort to be fully mindful of the task as you perform it. In time you will find yourself paying more attention to everything.

Zen teachers say that if you miss the moment, you miss your life. How much of our lives have we missed? Be mindful! But be careful! First there has to be genuine insight, genuine freedom.